Friday, November 25, 2011

the year of the (mu)shroom

note: i am no authority. far(!) from it. i can only present what i have discovered recently. for the unaware (me, circa december, 2010), magic mushrooms contain psilocybin which is a psychedelic substance. so let's tangent, psychedelia. the idea that psychedelia exists and more people don't explore it is plain crazy, mind-boggling or just simple stupidity. fear has repressed us. have we become so repressed that key words synonymous with psychedelia such as liberation, revelation and enlightenment fall on deaf ears? why would anyone want to be liberated? who would want to love more? who would want knowledge of self? anybody who knew the true meaning of psychedelia, that's who, which from what i can gauge is minimal.
before the introduction of the tangent, i was going to discuss the popularity of mushrooms in fairytales who play anything from a bit part to a star. wherever they are, wonder follows. count me in. i am proud to say i am a convert.


so...
a year has nearly passed since my mind was finally awakened from its deep slumber. i was just another cog in the machine, trying to fit in but i rejected the path I was continually led down.
i was the angry atheist and the only inevitable was death. that was the be all and end all. this was my form of rebellion. i was reacting to society's values which did not fit my thought patterns. I was living in black and white while stuck in the third dimension. purgatory at best.
I never really tried “drugs” probably thanks to nancy reagan’s work in the eighties. that is the perfect example of one person’s voice hypnotizing the masses. hell, I abused prescription drugs in my teen years which is deemed acceptable, but that is another long story.
thankfully though my path prepared me, unlike many other virgins. my thought was never to get high, that just happened to be an awesome side-effect. i had absolutely no idea about psychedelics and their effects. my mind was a blank canvas, minus the canvas.
i have gamma to thank for installing the shamanistic nature of these sacred fungi. treat them with respect, they are our teachers, our spiritual guides. once that knowledge was instilled, there is way too much to learn to use them for any other purpose.
for an individual who has been plagued by the dark, all i needed to do was awaken my third eye and now the darkness seems brighter. in the past year i have soared to heights that make the many previous years seem irrelevant, and it’s not like I lived a horrible life before. just a life without exploration.


it was december last year when i finally became privy to the inner workings of my universe. i downloaded seemingly infinite data that would change my path forever. it literally felt like i was reborn. this was the point of no returning, all i had to do was remember. it was hard to decipher all the data but now it felt like i had all the answers in code. it was an emotional roller-coaster that endured through the discomfort. the highs were like i was in deep outer space exploring places that i did not even know existed. the downs felt destroying but their duration in the scheme of things were minimal and once through the other side, i was stronger than i had ever been.

i explored my inner workings a few more times early in the new year. the discoveries were not as mind-blowing as my first time round but i still unearthed important knowledge. coming back to my earth body was difficult. sometimes i felt i mined too deep in my explorations that i was stuck in a new-found darkness. however on the flip side, i started to unearth avenues that i had not seriously considered while i started departing places i used to frequent.



as we progressed a quarter way through the gregorian calendar year, i learnt from my previous experiences and went into seclusion of sorts. this new found space meant i could feel free to let go again and this was mirrored in my expansion. i was back to exploring the outer reaches and i finally connected to the mainframe that i had heard people talk about. it was through this mainframe that i let my mind be explored by my closest fellow traveller. this is where words really fail me, as i have chapters of thoughts from this period but my earth vocab limits me. however i let go, making my mind accessible to my closest. this was my most liberating moment, as i let her delve head first into my darkness. she simply accepted the darkness and we began to move into outer space here on earth.


a couple months later my previous trip led my dearest and i into seclusion of our own. the ceremony was memorable, something that my earth brain will never forget. may 21, 2011 was our rapture. the euphoria mixed with a sprinkling of tears was the result of our journey through earthly matters. through my darkness, as from my last experience, my sweetest was there but this time also in her earth body. she was strong yet caring. the perfect example i think a mother should be and i’m proud she is the mother of my seeds.




i faced death at the end of the seventh. it was a stressful time in the human realm and i took that with me to beyond. time caught up with me and i felt i would never return to this dimension again in this body. i struggled to the point of insanity and further. i was the deepest and darkest i have ever been. it felt like my fifth dimensional self had lost total control of me. i had received the message earlier in the year that my path was predestined so i could just go with the flow or i could blaze my own trail and either way i would wind up where i belong. this message was totally lost in the insanity-filled night.
i took the struggle back with me to earth and it was a fight to climb out of the despair, but as previously shown my respected was right there again to help pick up the pieces of the life i thought i had destroyed. i reminisce and feel proud of how far i was able to fall and the light still found me. that is very comforting.


and most recently i undertook an experience in which i journeyed through the inter-connectedness of the universe. i managed to glimpse the lives of others by exploring their minds and bodies which was a beautiful privilege. i found the inner explorer in me as i continually rummaged in the dark with the knowledge the light would follow. my exploration was a trip. i felt like i was exploring different sectors only to return to the same precise spot over and over. how i got back seems hard to explain. i guess maybe i was a little timid in my new-found exploring capabilities and only explored to the point where my human mind knew it could return to the same exact place in the infinite universe.

in a nutshell i was asleep, stuck in the matrix in which i did not belong and death felt like the only end. however, since adding medicinal mushrooms to my diet i have awoken and have seen our existence on earth as just a part of the whole in which each of us are an intricate part. we can only control portions of our earthly life, but it is how we react to what we cannot control that defines us.
i grapple knowing i am a god, a master creator, but with each step i become elevated.